Come what may.

It's been a while. Rehearsal is grueling, but I think the finished product will be worth it. It's hard to find time to do me things, what with the show and work and all, but I'm managing.

I want someone. I want someone to hold me. But I know that high school will not be the time when I find him, so right now, I don't want anyone. I don't want romance, I don't want love, I don't want crushes, I don't want heartbreaks. So please don't talk to me about it.

I feel really dumb. I feel really dumb about alot of things. But that's what high school is for, to get these dumb mistakes out of the way before we enter the real world. Hopefully, heh.

Sometimes I find myself desperately wanting to smoke, and that scares me. I don't care about lung cancer, but I'm scared of being addicted, of losing myself to something silly.

I want to cry. I feel like crying. Not because I'm sad, I'm not. These past few weeks have been stressful.

I don't hate you, but you need to understand where I'm coming from. I don't understand most of the things you do. Normal people would stop after a while, but you keep trying. And it's flattering, but it's also weird.

I would appreciate it if you would stop flirting with me. I'm sorry I don't like you like that, but I've never particularly liked you all that much. I'm glad you've gotten much better this year, and I've actually started liking you as a friend. But that's it.

I hope we'll get to know each other and be friends, but I don't want to pursue anything for a long time. I know you'll understand, because you're cool like that.

And you. I apoligize. I don't know what came over me. I guess it was just the shock of actually liking someone who liked me back. I saw you twice over the summer, but I don't know if you ever saw me. I hope you've forgotten about me. I hope you've moved on. I will never forget you, but if that's good or bad, I don't know yet.

That's what I get, I guess, for living a magicked life.